passion test

February 11, 2008, 9:32 pm
How Deep Is Your Love?

For most couples, passion and romance eventually fade over time, and a more calm, contented love takes over as the years go by.
Is your relationship still filled with sparks? (Lauren Fleischman for The New York Times)

But for long-together couples who fear boredom has set in, brain and behavior researchers have come up with a simple prescription for reigniting the fires of romantic love. To learn more, click here to read my Well column about reinventing date night in today’s Science Times.

And then take the following quiz to find out how you score on the passion meter. This passionate love scale was developed by Elaine Hatfield, psychology professor at the University of Hawaii, and Susan Sprecher, psychology and sociology professor at Illinois State University. It was designed to assess the cognitive, emotional and behavioral aspects of passionate love and has been widely used by relationship researchers for the past two decades.

Dr. Hatfield notes that the scale is useful for researchers, but that couples should only take the test for fun and not make major decisions based on how they score on the 15-item scale. “Love and life are very complex, and a person’s emotions are always nuanced,'’ she said.

Answer the following questions to test your level of passionate love. Think of the person you love most passionately now, and respond by circling the appropriate response. Answers range from (1) not at all true to (9) definitely true. Then, add up your scores and check the scale below to see how hot your love fires burn.
Untrue…True
I would feel deep despair if my partner left me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Sometimes I feel I can’t control my thoughts; they are obsessively
on my partner. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I feel happy when I’m doing something to make my partner happy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I would rather be with my partner than anyone else. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I’d get jealous if I thought my partner were falling
in love with someone else. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I yearn to know all about my partner. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I want my partner physically, emotionally and mentally. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I have an endless appetite for affection from my partner. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
For me, my partner is the perfect romantic partner. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I sense my body responding when my partner touches me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
My partner always seems to be on my mind. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I want my partner to know me — my thoughts, my fears, and my hopes. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I eagerly look for signs indicating my partner’s desire for me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I possess a powerful attraction for my partner. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I get extremely depressed when things don’t go
right in my relationship with my partner. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Passionate Love Scale Scores
106-135 points — Extremely passionate. Your love is wild and reckless.
86-105 points — Passionate. The fires of passion still burn, but not as intense.
66-85 points — Average. Contentment, with occasional sparks.
45-65 points — Cool. Tepid, infrequent passion.
15-44 points — Extremely cool. The fire is out.

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