Pentimento

See head of a deer (esp black nose), center 3/4 down ? Pentimento !

Pentimento is an Italian-derived phrase used to describe what happens when evidence of an earlier painting becomes visible on a canvas where the paint from a subsequent painting has become transparent.

The most famous use of this wonderful word occurred when Lillian Hellman chose it as the title of one of her autobiographies. Here's what she had to say about the word:

"Old paint on canvas, as it ages, sometimes becomes transparent. When that happens it is possible, in some pictures, to see the original lines: a tree will show through a woman's dress, a child makes way for a dog, a large boat is no longer on an open sea. That is called pentimento because the painter "repented", changed his mind. Perhaps it would be as well to say that the old conception, replaced by a later choice, is a way of seeing and then seeing again." (Pentimento, Little, Brown &Co., 1973)

That's when I became intrigued by the word pentimento, and wanted to know more about it. As I researched the word, I came to a greater appreciation for its existence in all of our lives. Here's what I mean :

We each have one canvas upon which to paint our life's experience.

We continually "paint" on it as we experience life in all of its sundry and wondrous forms. Sometimes, evidence of our earlier "painting" shows through. Sometimes this has a startling effect, sometimes soothing, sometimes sad, sometimes confusing, sometimes illuminating.

Pentimento is an opportunity more than anything else. A chance to learn from what shows through from our "earlier painting(s)."

Now the very thing that this beautiful word describes is happening in my own life more and more often.

Just recently, I began gardening again after its absence from my every day life for more than 40 years. It had "reappeared" on my life's canvas even after so many years of having been "painted over" by other activities.

It has now become one of the greatest joys I experience. And I am by no means as successful (yet) as was my maternal grandfather, who introduced me to gardening a half-century ago and encouraged me to help him in his garden (which I did), located in his backyard, across the street from my own home. He soon established a second garden - this one in my backyard - and I assisted him in both gardens for several years.

Cooking is another example. Though I once helped my maternal grandmother and mother cook (I was the oldest of eight children and they simply needed my help), I drifted away from the frequent preparation of meals after leaving home for LSU in the fall of 1969, and cooked a meal only occasionally for many years.

That earlier experience, though, "shown through" many years later, when I became a father late in life and began cooking on a regular basis again. Suddenly I became aware of my preference for "certain ways of doing cooking-related things." Another "pentimento" had shown through subsequent behavior.

The pentimento I love most in my life has to do with human relationships.

Recently my mother died (August 6, 2005). During the final months of her life, most of my siblings came together around her. To my deep satisfaction (and surprise), this group of brothers and sisters who gathered around Mom grew closer together than we have ever been - even as children growing up together and certainly since then.

But the relationship template was there upon which to build : a "pentimento" from an earlier experience as siblings growing up together.

The same thing has been happening with friends from an earlier era in my life. As I reconnect with them, the "pentimento" of experience from our earlier friendship has shown through and helped us appreciate what we had then and how we might build upon that to create an even deeper friendship now.

This has been a very fulfilling and enriching experience for me, and I trust for my friends as well, even though the "repainting" can often be messy and impossible to foresee or control !

Pentimento.

Have some fun finding, then exploring, your pentimenti. Take them in. Learn from them. Go from there.

And don't be concerned with the messiness, or impermanence, of paint.

Just get busy painting !